5 Ways That Negatively Defining Yourself is Costing You

5 Ways That Negatively Defining Yourself is Costing You

Little, passing thoughts about who and how you are in this world can have more impact than you think.

We all do it. Most of the time when we make these types of negative generalizations, we are oblivious to the impact because we have passively accepted the dangerous belief as truth and that “This is just the way I am.” The negative beliefs we define ourselves with has become so ingrained we are unaware we are thinking and believing it and aren’t even considering whether or not it is truthful or valid. Consequently, it is wreaking havoc on our lives, often in ways, we don’t even recognize.

10 Ways To Calm Down When You Are Having an Emotional Meltdown

10 Ways To Calm Down When You Are Having an Emotional Meltdown

It finally happened.

You have been trying to keep it all together and putting on a brave, “I got it all together” face, trying to trick yourself and others into thinking you are fine.

Everything is FINE….

Then BOOM!

Emotional meltdown.

You find yourself in your room at night or on the bathroom floor crying or raging, snot flowing, mind racing and you are overcome by emotions. It feels like these feelings will never stop because they are so intense. The release feels good in a way but… it scares you.

It feels out of control.

Are you ever going to be okay again?

Cue the Taylor Swift song because you know You. Need. To. Calm. Down.

But how?

Cry Baby, Cry

Cry Baby, Cry

Here it is.  Here is your official permission slip to cry.  Seriously.  It is okay.  In fact, not only is it ok, it is actually good for you!

After doing therapy for as long as I have, it has come to my attention that some of you have a real issue with crying.

How do I know?

4 Responses that Destroy Relationships

4 Responses that Destroy Relationships

Ah...relationships.

Whether you love them or hate them, we can all agree they take WORK to be successful!

I do not do couples therapy.  I prefer to work with people individually.  However, many of my clients have relationship difficulties that contribute to their stress and unhappiness.  So, I decided to beef up my relationship skills by taking a few courses by the Gottman's.

The Dangers of Over-Drive in the Highly Driven

The Dangers of Over-Drive in the Highly Driven

You have been there.

You feel your back, stomach and shoulders tighten up like a rock.

Your breathing is shallow.  Your thoughts are racing.  

You feel overwhelmed because you don't have enough time in the day to get everything you need to do done.

You should have left work hours ago, but can't bring yourself to do it because there is STILL so much left to do.

The Most Hated and Forgotten Ingredient in Healing

The Most Hated and Forgotten Ingredient in Healing

I have treated hundreds of clients and even I don’t like this important ingredient to healing.  It is frustrating for me and even more frustrating for my clients.   Unfortunately, it is a necessary ingredient when it comes to healing.  What it?

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

5 Ways to Beat Loneliness

Loneliness is a peculiar thing.  You can feel lonely when you are alone or surrounded by people. It is more of a feeling than situation. Some people are perfectly happy being alone and don’t feel lonely.  We live in a society where we are connected more than ever before through means like social media and yet, loneliness persists.  Some would argue we are lonelier now than ever before.  It feels terrible and can feel hopeless to defeat, however, there are ways to combat it.

10 Answers to: "What Is The Difference Between Counseling And Coaching?"

10 Answers to: "What Is The Difference Between Counseling And Coaching?"

This is a very tricky question.  Many coaches have a difficult time explaining what it is exactly that they do.  It is something you have to experience to really be able to comprehend how powerful and transformational it can be.  Counseling, is a bit more familiar to people because it is more main stream.  They have many similarities and yet, are vastly different!  Ever since I decided to add coaching to my practice, people have been asking me why.  I decided to take on the challenge of explaining the difference below.

10 Toxic Stresses that are Slowly Killing You

10 Toxic Stresses that are Slowly Killing You

Stress impacts your mental and physical health.  In the worst cases stress can cause death, but even when it doesn’t cause physical death, it can cause the death of joy and peace within you.  After working in the mental health field for nearly 20 years, I have noticed stress is caused by one or more of the following 10 categories.   Many do not even realize the dangerous impact these stresses have on them.

7 Tips for When You Don't Wanna

7 Tips for When You Don't Wanna

One of the first things I tell my clients when they come to session and want to feel better is to exercise regularly.  So clearly I know the benefits of it, not just physically, but mentally.  I know that it is an important part of self-care, gives a sense of accomplishment, builds self-esteem etc. I preach it all the time.  I even really like to work out.  As much as I know that it is good for me and how important it is, there are still time when I DON’T WANNA!!!!!

When Social Media Feels Like The Devil

When Social Media Feels Like The Devil

I often have clients that come in and talk about how Facebook has ruined their day.  Many people have negative emotions towards Facebook, despite the fact that they use it frequently.  People who are depressed or anxious often find themselves triggered by things they see on Facebook.  While I agree that limiting Facebook or closing your account, would be a good idea, I know that many won't.   Plus, dare I say, I think Facebook can be a great tool towards helping you feel better. Here are my suggestions on how to handle Facebook.

Beat The Funk

Beat The Funk

Clients come in to my office because they are looking for some relief from emotional pain.  Most of the time the emotional pain is not something that will be resolved in just one session.  There are some things you can implement right away that can provide some relief. 

4 Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior

4 Mistaken Goals of Misbehavior

Oh, if I had a dollar for every time someone came to me telling me how they have diagnosed themselves or their children with some sort of disorder! There is an abundance of information out there on what could be wrong with you or a loved one.  This is great because it empowers the average person to educate themselves in ways like never before.  However, with great power, comes great responsibility! Many times these self diagnoses are incorrect.  Just because you took a test online does not mean that the results are accurate.  Always shoot for the easiest answer first.